Who should witness my will?

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I have been working on my own Last Will and Testament with the aid of some self-help legal books. I am a young single male with no children, a simple (but subtantial for my age) estate, and no relatives other than my parents within 1,000 miles of me. I am a bit of an "armchair attorney" due to my work, so I know my way around the document and basic requirements.
My state requires two witnesses for a will to be valid (or at least to avoid the worst hassles of probate). If I predecease my parents, I want the process to be as painless as possible for them.
I don't want to pay some lawyer a couple hundred bucks just so he and his paralegal can sign it. My father is named as my executor, and my mother as "second in line" if he predeceases me, so they're out as witnesses. My one close friend is being given a bequest in the will, so he's out. 
In my state you can do a "self proving affidavit" at the time of signing so the two witnesses do not have to physically show up at probate when I pass.
What should I do in this situation? There is a local notary public that deals mainly in car registrations/plates, but she is only one person there at a time, and I need someone to notarize for the two witnesses anyway. I can't really ask my co-workers to witness my will, that would just be odd. Which is a shame since we have notaries at work that could notarize the witnesses signatures. I asked another friend and his wife to witness it, but I could not convince him that the self-proving affidavit would prevent him from having to show up for a probate hearing (guess he's not much of a friend after all if he can't be bothered) if I pass.

Any help will be apprecited.

I didn't find the right solution from the Internet. 

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